Same-sex couples have kids too. It's time to stop leaving them out.

May 24, 2018 5 Comments

Same-sex couples have kids too. It's time to stop leaving them out.

I have a friend whose family is always left out.

Her family celebrates Mother’s Day as Mothers’ Day. But her daughter and sons have to pick and choose which parent to give their school-made cards to. Or awkwardly say, “This is for both of you,” and both moms say thank you, but they know their family is Left Out. Just as they are left out on Father’s Day. Their kids don’t have a father. So they make sure the teachers know they are to make cards for a grandparent, but it’s not the same. Their family is, again, Left Out.

In a sea of moms-and-dads, they are the mom-and-mom. It can be isolating. It can be frustrating. Everything is emblazoned with mom-and-dad, and it doesn’t work for their kids. There is no dad. And anything that says “mom”? Well, which one? Because mom, singular, means the other mom, singular, is always Left Out.

Pretty Like Mommy? Well, which one?

Smart Like Mommy? Who’s the smarter one?

Cute Like My Mom? Which mom is the cute one?

And on and on.

I know another family who feels the same way, but in reverse. Because they’re dads, and so their kids are shut out of Mother’s Day completely, but befuddled on Father’s Day over whom to honor. Being dad-and-dad is just as isolating and frustrating as being mom-and-mom. It’s compounded by the fact that their children are twin daughters. So every shirt that says "[something] like Daddy" not only has the same problems as the mommy shirts, they’re also usually hideously gendered, not something they want for their kids. Meaning, you know, tough like daddy. Strong like daddy. Built tough like daddy. Super strong like daddy. And... well, that's basically it.

We saw our friends getting left out. We heard their frustrations. And we decided to do something about it. So when we designed our “Kind Like My Mom” shirt, we also made a “Kind Like My Moms” shirt.

With these words, no one feels like they have to pick. No one has to be left out. Both moms are the kind moms.

It also shifts the focus of the shirt. Now it’s not just about kindness. It’s also about normalizing same-sex parenting. It’s about saying, “This is a real kid, a normal kid, a kid who looks and acts like every other kid, a kid who just happens to have two parents of the same gender.”  

We think that’s pretty awesome, because we think all kinds of families are awesome. We think all families are worthy of celebration. So we went back to our Kind Like Daddy shirt and made a Kind Like My Dads version.

Today we have a whole collection of "like my moms" and "like my dads" shirts, because we think there should be a way to fit these ideas together without leaving people out. There’s a special relationship between a kid and their moms, or a kid and their dads. We want to make sure everyone knows about it -- and that no one feels as if they’re somehow hiding it.

We want to help awesome kids brag that they're smart like their moms or dads. Feminist like their moms or dads. Kind like their moms or dads.

No big retailers have done shirts like this, and we wonder why. Aside from it just being the right thing to do, the LGBTQ community is a HUGE market that definitely shows up for products that acknowledge them as full members of our community. We're a small company, so most people haven't heard of us and will never see our shirts. We wish we weren't among such a paltry few little brands offering onesies and tees like this.

Every family deserves to be celebrated, and LGBTQ fams are rad. We think they’re just as important as mom-and-dad families. And we think they deserve to be celebrated, too: with shirts that acknowledge them for who they are.

 

NEW TO FREE TO BE KIDS

We design and create baby, kids, and even a few grownup clothes with positive messages and nary a gender cliche in sight. We believe clothes send a message, and our mission is to flip the script on gender cliches and spread positive messages one fashion statement at a time.



5 Responses

Kate
Kate

June 03, 2018

This is great! It’s specific that they are not referring to heterosexual families. I think it would also be great to have a “like my parents” version as well. For families who -don’t want to refer to genders/be gendered -don’t use “mom” or “dad” for one or both parent (momo, baba etc are often used to differentiate titles for same-sex parents) -are non-binary.

Jaq Randle
Jaq Randle

June 03, 2018

Also us enby parents!

Kris
Kris

May 31, 2018

These are AWESOME! I’d love to see some trans references too. Not all transgender people transition, so from the outside I’m sure people think my son has official heterosexual parents. :-)

Ashleigh
Ashleigh

May 31, 2018

Also grandparents! My moms would die if I was able to get my son a “like my grandmas” shirt! <3

Michele
Michele

May 31, 2018

I would love to see these reference uncles and aunts too! We’re heterosexual parents with LGBTQ family and friends who adore our child. I would love to gift them a framed photo of our son in something like this (the uncles specifically, in our case!).

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